Think About Children

Fails February 2011

YouTube - Fails February 2011

My Oversized Earrings........................................

My new obsseission is over-sized jewelry. I was lucky enough to find these earrings a week ago at a little shop in my local mall. I paid $18 for these earrings and nothing feels better than a deal to me.
These are pictures from my outing last Saturday, my bff had a big bday extravaganza and I had to be there. Long night but it felt good to get out of the house.

@935 with Robbie McNair aka Miss Jane Doe

Charlie Sheen, you need me!

I am completely obsessed with the Charlie Sheen SAGA! I‘ve been on the edge of my seat as the drama, and the hookers, unfold. It has been BRILLIANT!!! Just when you think the whole thing can’t get any tackier out he comes on radio with what will go down in history as one of the all-time-great, career-suicide tirades.

It’s 18mins of Pure Audio Gold!

Why aren’t health professionals screaming for him to be commited? He is obviously a small baby step away from Anne-Heche-Crazy. Some of the lines he uses in this jumbled mess of an interview are pure gold. And more than slightly disturbing. “I will murder with great violence” but because he is the star of highest rating sitcom this is apparently fine. WINNING!

Charlie Sheen 'winning'

Truth be known, I am desperate to be his publicist. How much fun would that be! And I’m serious. The drama of it all, and the complete weirdness, would be intoxicating. Running joke at work is that I am only good in a crisis, rest of the time just plain average. Well this is a crisis I’d love to get my teeth into. If for no other reason it would be hilarious. Definitely funnier than Two And A Half Men ever was.

Imagine Charlie’s poor, long-suffering publicist if they were sitting in on this interview. Publicity 101 is to keep your client as far away as possible from media when they are even slightly unhinged – so I can only presume there was no publicist involved. But can you imagine if they were there when he erupted with that psychotic rant; they would have doubled over in grief, spilt their Diet Coke, potentially even dropping their sacred Blackberry. That’s how dire this interview is. This would have been a “life flashes before your eyes” moment for any semi-decent publicist.

So all my publicity juices are flowing over this one, and then comes the next instalment. Charlie Sheen on A Current Affair last night. Best thing I can say about it – Charlie had great eyebrows. The worst thing, why the hell are his people still letting him do interviews? I just don’t get it. Its almost like someone is playing a nasty joke on poor little Charlie. This is not how you win back your job or endear yourself to a very judgemental public. Someone get the man a Xanax, he needs to calm the hell down.

His open hatred for Chuck Lorre and CBS is palpable. But still he says Series 9 will go ahead. It kinda sounds like this is the crazy man’s version of Gillard and Abbott hosting a chat show together – NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. Yes we all know there is a lot of money at stake but surely you couldn’t bank on Mr Sheen staying sane, sober or upright. If he was working in his current manic state the writers would need to double his lines just so they can fill the 30mins.

So every natural publicity instinct in me would be to shut this down, keep him away from the world – no good can come of this. Fake rehab, apologise, beg for forgiveness and pledge yourself to god! That’s how Americans get themselves out of a PR crisis. Or became a lesbian. But Charlie is obviously pulling the strings so I fear this runaway train of a story has a few more stops yet. 

And I can’t wait!

I'd just finished bashing this out when I remembered @PipRMB had shot through to me an article from The Hollywood Reporter. Take a look, it seems all publicists are on the same page. The legendary Pat Kingsley, famously fired by Tom Cruise, says it best... “If he doesn’t think he has a problem, he probably doesn’t need a publicist.”





And why wasn't I invited to the Publicists’ Guild Annual Luncheon on Friday at the Beverly Hilton?





NEWS ALERT: It's 9.05am and I already have to update the Sheen Saga with two absolute gems...





The first is an interview with TMZ, best quotes from it here.





And the next is his interview with ABC News here.





CHARLIE, I BEG OF YOU! STOP SPEAKING!!!!!!!!

TSA Prohibited Items

I'm planning a trip and was wondering if I could get away with a giant camera case as the additional item aside from a carry-on (turns out yes).

I noticed some items that are allowed on the plane that I would never have guessed:

1) Knitting Needles a.k.a. giant death spears
2) Scissors (metal with pointed tips and blades shorter than four inches)...4" only? You could easily get to someone's heart with that.
3) Screwdrivers (seven inches or less in length)

Fighting Darwin - TSA Gangstaz

Forum Question: Diapers

Immunize Parody

YouTube - Immunize Song

Just learnt something new about myself...

I can talk for 45 minutes without pausing for breath. Not even a pause for a sip of water...





Give me a microphone and I'll talk your ass off.





I put far, far too much into this presentation, had to drop big chunks on the run as the moderator kept winding me up - I felt like Julia Roberst during her Oscars speech.





I just kept right on talking through the allocated Q&A time, dear oh dear.





Poor audience! I'm nervous about waiting around for the break, they might attack.





Lesson learnt... when preparing a presentation write it then halve it. I vaguely remember from Uni learning that newsreaders speak at three words per second and I've always worked off this ratio. I must have heard wrong! Next time I'm cutting it back to 2 words, possibly 1.





So relieved its over, so relieved. And I'll know for next time too much is too much, less is more.

Time Management... not my strongest skill.

Sincere apologies... I have been so caught up with prep for this social media presentation that I am doing this morning that I haven't had time to write a post. Bad St. Murphy, bad.



This is the thing I am talking about... 



I'll let you know how it goes.



xoxo

St. Murphy

Warts and all. Break-ups are shit!

My mentor Mrs Woog says write for yourself and not worry what others think. Makes me nervous but I'm giving it a shot. Boys don't talk about feelings, especially ones from the country. But I think it's important I try today...

Break-ups are SHIT! Knee-deep sewerage! Fucking awful!

You’ll have heard me say a few times “as far as break-ups go we’re doing real good” but its still shit. Shit. Shit. Awful, knee-dip Shit.

Now I know we aren’t the first couple to break-up and I know that a lot of couples have it a lot worse than us. But it still gets you real down, rocks your world and just makes everything else in life so much harder. Its been two and a half weeks now and I’ve really, really struggled. I'm up and down like a yo-yo, I still find it really hard to talk to people about it, I can't get the simplest of things done. But I'll have spurts where the world is my oyster, nothing impossible. I'm exhausting myself. I’m not saying this for sympathy or support, please don’t, but just because this space has become my little world where I can talk about whatever I want and say whatever is on my mind. Tell my 'story of the day'.

It’s the little things that are the hardest. Clichéd I know, and something most others have experienced themselves. For me its kinda new. I’ve had break-ups before but not on this scale. My last was after two years but by the time we broke up we lived in different cities. This is 6 years where we both dramatically changed our lives and built something really cool together and it’s so much harder to say goodbye to that than I thought it would be. How naïve is that. I just have nothing to compare this too, I don't know whats normal and whats not.

One day this week I actually called or emailed him 3 times in a few hours without even realising. And it was silly stuff like how it only cost me only $37 to have my tyre fixed and how another blogger posted me. Whatever was top of mind. It was only later in the day that I realised what I’d done and that it’s probably not kosher anymore, or particularly healthy. It’s all been so smooth between us that it didn’t even seem odd. It was a bit of a crystal ball moment that we/I have to actively change how much we rely on each other. Uggghhhh. I am definitely a creature of habit, I do not handle change well. 38 years experience tells me that.

One really upsetting thing is the ‘reporting in’. When you’re in a relationship it is so normal to let your partner know where you are and what you are doing. “Honey, held up at work, won’t be home till 8” or “made it down to Thirroul, just getting Chinese, will call you after I’ve eaten”. No need to do that anymore and that’s just plain unsettling. I still instinctually want to do it all the time. It’s this constant, subtle but harsh reminder that you don’t have your partner anymore and that hurts. Its sounds inconsequential but its not for me.

This doesn't mean I’m having second thoughts though. I know we've made the right decision, I know it’s right for both of us, as does exBoyfriend – absolutely no question about that. It’s just this ‘transitional’ phase that’s doing my head in. We are in limbo. We still share our house until I move into my apartment. In so many ways our lives are still the same. I got sick again this week – such a me thing to do – and that was the sign for both of us that we needed to move things along a little bit quicker. My psychosomatic body always tells us when I'm not dealing well. Thank god for exBoyfriend, he is a true saint. He knows my flaws better than anyone. We’ve plotted the next five weeks so that we aren’t sharing our house as much, luckily we have that option – so much easier if one of us isn’t sleeping on the lounge.

And I need to get used to not having exBoyfriend to rely on 24/7. I’ve always considered myself fiercely independent but the last 6 years has definitely changed me, how could it not. In a strange way, deep down, I sense I'm excited about what the future holds but until we get through the next few weeks its really tough to feel that.  How the hell do couples go through this if it is a one-sided or dramatic break-up? I have no idea. Must be excruciatingly hard. I have a whole new respect for anyone separating from their partner. I never really got how much it knocks you about until now.

One great thing about all of this is I have even more respect for exBoyfriend. It seems all that reality television hasn’t turned his brain to mush. He’s been my strongest support, how ironic is that. He has been amazing in every respect. It's also a brilliant sign that once we finally untangle our lives, down the track, we can be great friends. In fact, that’s the reason we were finally able to call it quits. We both knew we would be much happier as friends with our own lives. As shit as it is now, the signs are all good we’ll get there.





Note: I've deliberately taken off the Comment section for this post, sorry. Feels wrong to have replies to this cause thats not why I wrote it.

Real estate offer + Memory lane + Turducken

I’ve set myself a challenge today. I’m going to combine a real estate pitch with a trip down memory lane. It could go either way...

Background first… exBoyfriend is very good with numbers and very smart when it comes to business/lifestyle decisions. A few years ago he bought an investment place down the south coast in gorgeous Thirroul. He’s just renovated it and is now putting it on the market. I think it’s a brilliant buy, but I’m a little biased. We’ve spent many good times down there with the Inner Circle, that’s the trip down memory lane part.

A spacious and relaxed lounge and dining area opens on to a large balcony with beach / parkland views. New floorboards and lighting fixtures throughout.

Lounge & Dining

This is where we’ve done all our celebrating, such a brilliant entertaining apartment. All the smokers on the balcony are still a part of the action, Hamish Von Trapp and Irish Mark have their own special ashtray. For 3 out of the last 4 years this is where we’ve had pre-NYE drinks and post-NYE drinks, and of course recovery in front of the television NYD. Big enough for two huge lounges for dvd watching plus a dining table for me to have an active laptop/Twitter/Facebook. It also doubles as a bedroom during peak periods, lost track of the head count on that front.

A completely renovated kitchen with very large space for family fridge. Lots of cupboard space. All modern amenities including electric oven. 

Lovely, lovely...

This is where we cooked our Turducken for Xmas in ’07 and NYE ’08. Now for the un-initiated, a Turducken is a stuffed chicken, stuffed in a duck, stuffed in a turkey. It’s a South African delicacy and it will change your life! Be warned though, this mammoth piece of meat takes about 8 hours to cook but so worth the wait. You’ll swim in the leftovers for days, also why you need such a big fridge. Between the Turducken and alcohol there ain’t much room left for anything else.

Two large queen-size bedrooms. The master bedroom has brand new built-ins and fantastic ocean views. Carpeted throughout with a lovely contrast of walls between exposed dark brick and white rendering.

View laying down in Master Bed

Now primary resident in the spare room has always been Ms Obama, our dear friend from Melbourne. She loves to spend her summers up north with us. Over the crowded New Year period she has occasionally had to share her bed, this year she gave Lucky Paulie a good whack in the head while they both slept. Ms Obama loves the surf, she can spend hours in there. The kitchen is renovated green in honour of Ms Obama.

The apartment is 75m from the spectacular Thirroul beach and pool, with only parklands separating front door from sand.

...sand!

Heaven! A seriously gorgeous beach that never gets too crowded. So much Inner Circle tanning has gone here, even Miss Cal has managed a few shades darker. And the best part is that there are grass areas beside the sand so for people like me who HATE sand it is perfect. That is until this year when we got 3 fabulous banana lounges that changed my life. exBoyfriend even took a surfing lesson here. Right on the beach is Flanagans Café which does a fantastic breakfast fry-up and good, hearty meals throughout the day.

Thirroul is a friendly, fun town that has many fantastic restaurants and amenities. There are two supermarkets and lots of holiday shopping spots. Nightlife centres around Beaches Hotel.

Beaches at dusk

Beaches goes OFF! We do NYE there and the first two years it was brilliant fun, last year not so much. One year Yogi wore a wig, Top Chef went topless. We’ve camped it up like only we can and the locals love it! You gotta ask to have a drink with Cheryl, a local icon. She’s as rough as guts and a one-of-a-kind. They also do a mighty big schnitzel. After Beaches shuts it’s down to the real beach with the locals to continue the party, Lucky Paulie always takes his boom-box. All the restaurants are good but the best value-for-money, hung-over take-away is Meals Are Really Satisfying Chinese Café. You can get a shitload of MSG for very little money. Last night I had a fluorescent green prawn curry and one of the best big spring rolls I’ve ever had. The main shopping strip with cafes and everything else, including the best $2 Shop I’ve ever been too, is literally a 4min walk. So good for coffee runs, snacks, alcohol supplies and cheap homewares.

NYE at Beaches

Beaches also has accommodation if your guest numbers spill over. Our Perth Socialite and Miss Cal always stay there cause then atleast they don’t have to share a shower or fight for a mirror with 6 gayers. Plus have their own bed.

So all up, Thirroul is the best. Great place to live, a great place to weekend, a great place to cut loose. So if you want a beach getaway than you should take a look at this place, you won't regret it. And its only just over an hour from Sydney.

Ahhhh… the memories.

First Open House is this Saturday!

Dining

Inner Circle

View of balcony

Random Delights!

Ok, first cab off the rank - Guy Sebastian.





In my opinion, one of the greatest moments ever on Australian television.





That day I cried during rehearsal, I cried in the studio, and I cried again when I watched it back on tape the next day. I just teared up again watching this now.





The man is a GENIUS.





Enjoy!

And the second will only be to a few peoples liking.





Possibly the greatest swimming race ever. Certainly one of my favourites. I've never screamed so much at a television. Covered in goosebumps again watching it now.





Legendary boys, legendary!

{Street Style} Off Shoulder

chanelglitter

My New Look......................

After a year without wearing extensions, we have finally been reunited and I forgot how much I love a change. This was my first day wearing my hair and I parted it in the middle and did a side braid.

My second day I pulled the front back and wore the back down in soft waves.

Stay tuned for the future styles I come up with.

My ego has got me into trouble again!

If I had a dollar for every time my ego got me into trouble… well I wouldn’t be sitting on this cheap couch wearing a holey t’shirt. I’d be sipping cocktails in the Maldives!

This time it’s a doozey and doesn’t actually involve a bar, a mirror or a little white lie.

Late last year I got a phone call from a guy who was organising a social media conference and he wanted to know if I would be interested in presenting. Still not sure how he got my number but I loved that he did. As everyone knows I am social media obsessed, both personally and professionally. Over the last year it has become more and more a part of my job. We’re doing some pretty cool stuff at work and that’s why he wanted to talk to me.

At the time I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had done real well with my subjects that semester for my Masters and was having visions of a life in Academia while writing fascinating lengthy texts on communications theory. I was up for anything. It’s a brave new world out there in research and I was loving it.

And. Most importantly. My ego was completely flattered that they were interested in me! And that they thought I had something to offer.

If he had of even hinted that he thought I was attractive we would now be married and living in the south of France. That’s how far gone I was.

So of course I agreed immediately which was followed by a quick chat about potential content. Then I weirdly put it to the back of my mind over summer and just knew that it was something I had coming up. I foolishly didn’t read the correspondence with an alert eye so until last week I really didn’t understand what exactly I’d got myself into. Let me cut to the chase…

It’s a 45min presentation to Marketing people about the impact and potential for social media.

Let me say that again… 45 MINUTES!

My worst nightmare.

Holy hell, I don’t even know that many words. I have no idea how many pages that is even, or slides, or whatever it is that I should be reading/showing/discussing. I have been so unbelievably stressed about it I can not tell you. It has sent me into a complete meltdown this past week as I pull together what I think it should be. I’ve got some great peeps sending me articles and helping me out, and the beautiful boys in Digital are saving my ass BIG TIME. It will certainly look schmick thanks to them. Slowly I’m getting there. As of late yesterday I am starting to think the content could actually be getting close to the money. Phew!

Which only leaves one oustanding issue. How the hell am I gonna pull it together in front of all these people!

I’ve got a lot of practice at weddings, birthdays and family events with, fair to say, mixed reviews. There was the time I accidently dropped the C-bomb at a friends 21^st – Gran was not happy – that memory now haunts me. Its gonna take all my will-power in the world to not race through it and find I’m finished in 20 mins, I’d have to dance for the remaining 25. I’ve even considered wearing something revealing, with just a hint of nipple, to distract the crowd. I can’t even consider imagining them all naked cause god knows where that will take my mind. There will be many sleepless nights between now and D-day.

And all this grief just because in the briefest of moments I let my ego get away from me. Now I’m just praying that it will be one of those life experiences that seems so worth it once it is over. 

All over by 10.30am Monday.

Say Something: Josh Thomas and his grandmother

This does not require words.





Comedian Josh Thomas' Grandma shares her story for the Say Something! campaign.

http://www.mardigras.org.au/saysomething

It's special for so many reasons.

St. Murphy

{Beauty} Spring Look

crush

Cattle Products

Wait, there is cow blood in imitation eggs? I'm skeptical about that one...

Ultimate Watch

Doctors Out To Make Money

Fighting Darwin - Myth: Doctors Make Lots Of Money

It seems many patients feel doctors are out to make money.


In this article, a physician discusses if medicine is a good pathway to wealth. NY Times - Code Red To Doctors

Dr. Pho makes a great point at the end, "Doctors want people to know that what want they want most is to do what's best for their patients, and there are a lot of impediments to that right now."

Disregard For Authority

Job Hunting

Two years after fighting in court to hire him, Apple has let IBM's Mark Papermaster go. Now that's pretty badass; a company going to court to hire you.

Fortune - Papermaster Hired

But, it turns out he's not really a badass. It sounds like he got fired from Apple. Bummer.

Fortune - Papermaster Fired

Candy Sushi

YouTube - Candy Sushi

Roberto Bernardi

Cool pictures, right? Nope, they're oil paintings by Roberto Bernardi.

Why I Turn On T.V.

Number Pads

Single gay man looking... Weight Loss!

I thought that one of the few upsides of a break-up was weight loss? This is what I have been led to believe over the years. Well it’s a fallacy, a blatant lie.

I have literally doubled in size since exBoyfriend and I broke-up two weeks ago. How you can stack on so much weight in two weeks is anyone’s guess. My pants are strained, I can only wear my big man’s shirts and the thought of exposing myself at the gym is traumatic.

I’m going to put it down to ‘comfort eating’ (well use it as an excuse anyways).

Surely at a time like this I can be forgiven for choosing Macca’s over a salad. This is an easy and quick debate in my head, such as at lunchtime yesterday. If you feel bad why should you deny yourself something that will give you pleasure.  Mmmmm…Double Quarter Pounder large meal deal with Diet Coke. Heaven! And like Princess Di, over-eating makes me feel better. Not quite the ‘hug’ Di called it, but better none-the-less.

And it seems to be playing havoc with my stomach, but I won’t bore/disgust you with those details.

exBoyfriend has been very good, he is still going to the gym everyday. Where as me, I will come up with any excuse not to go. And to be completely honest, this is the best excuse I’ve ever had. I do pack my gym bag every day but it still hasn’t left my car. Such a shame as I have some lovely new gym clothes that now probably won’t fit me.





And no one wants a chubby middle-aged gayer! There are good and bad sides to being part of a body-obsessed sub-culture such as the hummer-sexuals - great for perving but shockingly hard to keep up your own standards. Us gayers have different standards for physical 'normalcy', the bar is much higher than for the straights. Oh whoe is me...

This has been a very whingey post today, sorry. I'm being a whingey-whiney bastard. And a little unfair to exBoyfriend. This is so much more about my own flaws rather than our circumstance. We’ve been very good at taking care of each other as we untangle our lives. And I am sure once I am in my own place it will all become easier again.

I do fear though that by the time we get to that point I will be the size of a house! 

Monk Throws Needle Through Glass

Shaolin Monk Throws A Needle Through Glass

Myth: Red Meat Blood

The red juice in raw meat is water and myoglobin, not blood.

Victorinox Secure SSD

256 gigs on your keychain? Amazing now, but possibly hilarious a couple decades from now.
Billed as "the world's smallest 256GB solid-state drive," the new Victorinox Secure SSD blends technology with one of the world's most recognizable tools.

Your Move Chuck Norris

Italian man shot in head sneezes out bullet.

Telegraph - Shot In Head

The bullet went through the right side of his head, behind his eye socket and lodged in his nasal passage but miraculously did no serious damage.

Bleeding heavily, he was taken to hospital in an ambulance shortly after midnight, but while waiting to be seen by doctors he sneezed and the bullet shot out of his right nostril.

Anesthesia Resident's Day

Some parts are funny, some are not. Only worth your 10mins if you're completely bored right now. YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!
YouTube - Day In Life Of Anesthesiologist

Man Dies Of Uterine Cancer

Now here is an interesting case. Kenneth Liew needed a kidney transplant and received a kidney after 10 years of waiting. After it was working well, an autopsy revealed that the kidney came from a woman who, though she died of a stroke, had unknowingly had uterine cancer as well. Since this was the first case of its kind, no one knew the risk of transmission of cancer. He died 7 months later, from cancer.

Kevin MD - Cancer In Kidney Transplant
New York Post - Hospital Cleared (PNG)

Despite being exhorted by her dying husband to forgive the doctor, Mr. Liew’s widow ignored his wishes and sued just about everyone she could think of including the doctor and New York University Medical Center where the transplant occurred. Eight years after Mr. Liew died, the jury has finally received the case. Mrs. Liew is sure that somebody is to blame for something and that she deserves $3 million dollars in compensation, but it is not clear who is to blame or what they are to blame for. In the end, the hospital was cleared and not found at fault.

Cali Girl

FRIZZ & FETTUCINI.

Okay, I've got a problem. This problem is Texas Weather. Southeast Texas weather to be exact. Please let me know how I'm supposed to be "Seasonally Appropriate" in the fashion department when it's 75 degrees in February?! Coldest month of th year, my a**! Who wants to wear thick leggings and jeans in THIS weather? Not I, said the fly. I may or may not have just sported shorts to the grocery store yesterday.. You can take a jab at that one ;) Anyway, the weather has gotten completely out of control and I can't help anxiously squealing for Spring/Summer each day. To make things even worse, this "somewhat precipitation mist" isn't making things any better.. It reminds me of that icky "Mist Area" at Six Flags that all of the sweaty kids run under to cool off. It looks wet, but you don't get wet. It grosses me out even thinking about it. This type of weather is made especially for people with a lot of hair like me. All the better to frizz you with, my dear. So I have to avoid the frizz as much as possible.. even if that means putting off my barely-there exercise regimen.. To self: Should I go run? "Hmmm.. looks like it's about to drizzle out there."

Aside from the weather, things have been pretty great in the Ng-Chee + 1 household. Before I had Cash, I didn't realize how abrupt the transition from "baby" to "toddler" can happen. I guess I just assumed that I'd have a long time where Cash was in the stage that he was when he was about 6 months old, but BOY was I wrong. J & I have been doing a lot of watching Cash lately.. Of course, we play with him, but we've been watching him play independently as well. IT BLOWS MY MIND HOW BIG THIS KID IS GETTING! I wish I had a button to slow down the process, but since that is nonexistant, I'm making it the best by savoring every moment. Here's a couple of shots of him recently..

Cash, I can't quite comprehend how I'm going to act later in life, if I'm already so proud of you for tackling your first ice cream cone! I'm also proud of my best friend Ashley & I for painting the living & dining rooms in the new house in one day. THIS is a miracle for us two! We managed to only take two breaks throughout the process, and did a perfect job. Here's an idea of the color I chose, since I didn't want to take a picture while covered in paint from head to toe. I'm in LOVE with this color!

Next on our list is the Kitchen, Guest Bath, Cash's Room & the Master Bed/Bath. Just every room but one.. no biggie! ;) I left J's "Man Cave" out, because he claims he's going to choose the color & paint that room himself. Pshh.. we'll see about THAT one. I plan on posting an entire blog dedicated to our new house whenever it all is done & decorated. Don't wait around on that one though, because it coulddd be awhile!

If you couldn't tell from my blog, I'm obsessed with all things PASTA. Carbs.. yumyumyumyum! I've gotten some good feedback from ya'll on the pasta recipes I've posted in the past, so I thought I'd share another one of my favorites. Even more than my obsession with pasta, I'm obsessed with pasta in a homemade Tomato Cream sauce. DY-ING! This may be more of a light, "date night" food, or for those of you who have abnormally well-behaved kids who would eat this.. I'm NOT one of those people. Anyway, enjoy! BEST. EVER.

PASTA IN TOMATO CREAM SAUCE

 

NEED:

- 2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

- 2 Tablespoons Butter

- 4 cloves Garlic, Minced

- 2 cans (15 Ounce Each) Tomato Sauce

- S&P

- Dash of Sugar

- 1 cup Heavy Cream

- Grated Parmesan Cheese

- Fresh Basil, Chopped

- 1-½ pound Fettuccine Noodles

STEPS:

1. Cook pasta according to package directions or until al dente. Drain, BUT reserve 1 cup of pasta water.

2. Heat butter and oil over medium heat. Add garlic and saute for a minute or so. Pour in tomato sauce and add salt, pepper, and sugar to taste. Stir and cook over low heat for 25 to 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.

3. Remove from heat and stir in cream. Add cheese to taste, then check seasonings. Stir in pasta and chopped basil and serve immediately. (Thin with pasta water before adding basil if needed.)

4. Enjoy!

 

And of course, I couldn't leave ya'll without a super-fatty dessert recipe to go with it.. I know, I know.. I'm the WORST! If you're on a diet, you should officially steer clear from my blog. Especially from this recipe, although you will feel like you've officially "lived" after you try it. I'm a coconut fan. Always have been, always will be. I was always the 5 year old with the "classy palette" that preferred coconut over plain ol' M&M's. Yes, I've been a diva since day one and No, I'm not proud of it. THIS. IS. THE. BEST. GERMAN. CHOCOLATE. CAKE. CONCOCTION. THAT. YOU. WILL. EVER. TRY. I'll bet my blog on it ;)

BEST GERMAN CHOCOLATE CAKE

 

NEED FOR CAKE:

- 1/2 cup water

- 6 (1 ounce) squares German sweet chocolate

- 2 cups white sugar

- 4 egg yolks

- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

- 1 cup buttermilk

- 2 1/2 cups cake flour

- 1 teaspoon baking soda

- 1/2 teaspoon salt

- 4 egg whites

NEED FOR FROSTING:

- 1 1/2 cups white sugar

- 1 1/2 cups evaporated milk

- 3/4 cup butter

- 4 egg yolks, beaten

- 2 cups flaked coconut

- 1 1/2 cups chopped pecans

- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Drizzle:

- 1/2 teaspoon shortening

- 2 semisweet chocolate squares (2 ounces)

 

STEPS:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour 3, 9 inch round pans. Sift together the flour, baking soda and salt. Set aside. In a small saucepan, heat water and 4 ounces chocolate until melted. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

2. In a large bowl, cream 1 cup butter and 2 cups sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in 4 egg yolks one at a time. Blend in the melted chocolate mixture and vanilla. Beat in the flour mixture alternately with the buttermilk, mixing just until incorporated. Do not over-mix.

3. In a large glass or metal mixing bowl, beat egg whites until stiff peaks form. Fold 1/3 of the whites into the batter, then quickly fold in remaining whites until no streaks remain. Do not over-mix.

4. Pour into 3, 9 inch pans Bake in the preheated oven for 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Allow to cool for 10 minutes in the pan, then turn out onto wire rack.

5. To make the Filling: In a saucepan combine sugar and butter, evaporated milk, and egg yolks. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly until thickened. Remove from heat. Stir in coconut, pecans and vanilla. Cool until thick enough to spread.

6. Spread filling between layers and on top of cake. In a small saucepan, melt shortening and 2 ounces of chocolate. Stir until smooth and drizzle down the sides of the cake.