{Weddings} Milk and Cookies

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I've had me some Rogan Joshua at Man Pit!

What the hell is this???

Lucky Paulie said he was coming over to Man Pit to cook me dinner and he brought this! Now even I know you can’t put plastic in the oven. “Lucky Paulie what the hell were you thinking…” as I reached for my phone to dial the downstairs pizza place.

Turns out these are the ingredients in a Rogan Joshua. I thought Rogan Joshua just came in a bain marie at a cheap and easy Indian diner – Lucky Paulie assures you mix all of these in a pot and out comes some Joshua. Go figure!

You may know, I hate cooking. Hate it in the same way you hate planter warts. Since being at Man Pit and setting off the fire alarm in the first week I have relied solely on the generosity of friends, oven food and the pizza place downstairs. This is what has spurred Lucky Paulie into action – he saw my Sunday night Tweet of 5 empty pizza boxes. Now he wants to teach me to cook. He’s one of my oldest friends but I fear he may not know me at all.

“What do you know how to do?” Paulie asks. “Chop.” And that is literally all I know in the kitchen. I am subsequently in charge of onions. Paulie attends to the more delicate tasks of garlic and ginger.

Paulie asks “Do you have a garlic crusher?”

“No, why would I have one of those?

“Do you have a grater?”

“No. Again I ask, why would I need one of those?”

Seriously only the MasterChef Kitchen would have these surely? Why would an inner-city bachelor pad rented by someone who’s favourite chef is Colonel Sanders have them? I passed Paulie my only big knife and he improvised. He’s very clever Paulie, not just a pretty face who puts the news to air each night. Check it out – I think we did pretty darn good considering the ‘alleged’ limited resources of Man Pit.

Paulie looked very dashing in the Man Pit kitchen. He was throwing ingredients around like he was the Swedish chef on the Muppets. I was so confused as to what was what that I had to pour myself another vodka and check out Twitter. I was supporting him emotionally and spiritually. I did warn Paulie that I was considerably less interested in learning as he was in teaching.

Check out Little Sammy watching on... ADORABLE!

Man Pit hasn’t smelt this good since the first time I walked in the door just after the industrial cleaners had left. Little Sammy was beside himself, the smell of slow-cooked fresh food is completely foreign to him. Paulie didn’t even let me boil the rice. Told you he was clever! My contribution at this point was to set the timer on my iPhone so we knew when rice was ready. BINGO! Dinner is served!

You can see the joy on my face (and the jealousy on Sam's!).

And if you can look past the beautiful Rogan Joshua, yes I am wearing a headband, as I often do once I slip into my After-5’s at Man Pit.

Thank you Lucky Paulie for giving it your very best attempt to teach me a new skill. Thank you Lucky Paulie for recognizing that I possibly wasn’t eating a very balanced diet. But most of all thank you Lucky Paulie for serving up a Rogan Joshua that tasted even better than any take-away Indian Diner on Oxford St.

Love you!

Lucky Paulie

{Editorial} Sophie Homes For Elle Germany, May 2011

I've got nothing today except the shits! Why?

I'm getting pretty organised with this blogging thing now and I've even been known to put some thought and planning into it. I was planning on an insightful, witty piece for today on the weird things about being single but yesterday left me very sad, tense and with the shits. Here are the reasons why...

I spent six and a half hours on the road in yesterday's weather which I think would make anyone anxious. All drivers were so tense you could feel it. It was an open road drive on a freeway and I guarantee you there was not one car speeding. You just felt on edge the whole time. It was so exhausting. 

Then in the final stages I passed by the horrific accident northbound on the F3. You knew immediately that there must have been lives lost. It was an incredibly sad sight, and just so eery. Emergency services were everywhere and they were still working on one of the cars. Heard on the radio moments later they were still trying to rescue passengers. Your heart broke for those involved. One fatality, two rushed to hospital. Devastating. 

As horrific as that accident was, I believe there would have been many more except everyone on the road was being so careful and cautious yesterday. THANK YOU FELLOW DRIVERS! I feel very reassured that when it gets tough most drivers forget about time, rushing and whatever else is going on in their lives and just focus on safety. Prevented many more accidents I'm sure - and saved lives!

The thing that gave me the shits yesterday, and it is incredibly superficial and silly in the grand scheme of things, was that after my dramatic drunken injuries on Saturday night I am a physical mess. Can't believe I'm 38 and still falling over. Not sure which to blame more, the slipping or the intoxication, leaning towards the intoxication. Old enough to know better that’s for goddamn sure!

So now I am limping around with a sore knee and corked thigh with a giant scab on my forehead. I'm going to have to wear a hat to work cause I can't do my hair and no one should have to look at it. Yes, yes it’s a completely superficial wound which will be gone in a few days, but its still gives me the shits I have it at all. But in comparison to other events of yesterday it is ridiculous to even bring it up.

Sadness for the life lost, tense from the driving and shitty at my own stupidity means not the post I'd planned today. 

Sending deepest sympathies to the family and friends of the driver who lost his life. So unbelievably tragic.

{Mix} Morning Gal

A night out in the Inner West has left me scarred!

Yesterday’s post is probably my all-time favourite, today’s is a dog's breakfast!

How can I go from such a high to such a low? Well in between these two posts was JoThornely’s 40^th Party and it has left me a shell of my former self.

But oh so much fun! Brilliant fun! Makes it all worth it (I think?). Including my new scar. But more about that later…

The night started with a world-first. Man Pit had its first actual man as a guest. A man’s man, a straight man. Mr and Mrs Woog came over for a pre-drink. Mr Woog is the absolute coolest straight man ever! Mrs Woog has done very well for herself landing that one. Had to bite my tongue though from asking him to carry out some manly tasks while at Man Pit like hanging some pictures and fixing the shower head. And as is the case whenever I have guests at Man Pit we ordered pizza’s – this time it was Pork Belly and Puttanesca. Slowly working my way through entire menu.

Mrs Woog enjoying The Bed of Man Pit 

So then we got out our passports and trekked all the way out to the Inner West for the par-tay!

It was just so lovely. Lovely to meet some of JoThornely’s friends who I’d heard so much about. So lovely to catch up with some workmates outside of the office. So lovely to finally meet Shellity. Strangely, JoThornely shares her birthday with her twin sister Shellity – go figure! So lovely to spend some time with the gorgeous MsCharlotteD and Arrjaydub, they 100% lead Mrs Woog and I astray. I’m sure they spiked our drinks with a Rohypnol or two.

MsCharlotteD and Mrs Woog

Now JoThornely and Shellity gave the most brilliant of 40^th Birthday speeches. It was genius. They did it together and because they are both absolute masters of the English language it was a beautifully constructed, hilarious poem. As you do. They are very clever ladies, the audience loved it. Congrats guys, made the night.

Strangely I have no photos of the birthday girl, well that was a bit of an oversight! Such a shame cause she looked SMOKIN’ HOT!!! Smokin’! So instead you get me and MsD…

It soon came to that messy point in the night where we had to either stumble to a new venue or beg and whore ourselves on the street for a cab. Mrs Woog’s advice is always to leave when you’re having fun and never change venues. She took her own advice and after swaying our way up the street we bundled her in a cab, hiccupping. I was then taken under the wing of MsCharlotteD and Arrjaydub for some fun and frivolity at the Inner West’s finest gay establishment, The Imperial!

For some reason I always feel tall, young and attractive whenever I go to the Impie. They definitely breed them smaller out that way. MsCharlotteD towered over 90% of patrons, Arrjaydub not so much. And now a sentence I think I’ve only ever used twice before in my life… The drag shows were really good! It also helped that we almost won the meat raffle but instead scored some free passes. It’s the small things in life that give the greatest joy.

Arrjaydub and MsD

Then there was a dramatic turn of events. As I stumbled my way to the bathroom I took a headfirst fall into the wall and splayed myself on the bathroom floor. So dramatic! Thank god no one saw cause it was mortifying enough without anyone seeing. And thank god I was suitably lubricated or I would have burst into tears. Cracked my head open and at first I thought I was going to die from blood loss. After much pressed toilet paper it calmed right down. Thank god for the life saving MsCharlotteD and Arrjaydub who escorted me from the building with toilet paper stuck to my head and ensured I arrived home safely. Can not thank you guys enough! Loves you!

Woke up this morning, and I can confirm my modeling carrer is over due to my new hairline scar and my sporting career is over cause my knee is swollen like a rockmelon. Don’t you just love drunken injuries.

So to make myself feel better I ordered all this and layed on the couch for the ENTIRE day.

I love you Pizza Hut!

Thank you JoThornely, you are the hottest 40yo on the planet! Could bounce a coin on your arse and those guns rival Schwarzenegger.

Beautiful Bikini Pictures of Masha Philippova

Disclaimer: All pictures, photographs posted in this blog http://sleazymodels.blogspot.com/ have been collected from various internet sites & their copyright lies with the original owner.
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Russian Model Masha Philippova in bikini

Disclaimer: All pictures, photographs posted in this blog http://sleazymodels.blogspot.com/ have been collected from various internet sites & their copyright lies with the original owner.

{Home} Lazy Sunday

My Friends.

I’m blaming Oprah, but today I am absolutely full of love. She’s definitely made me all sentimental and mushy. I think it was seeing Oprah with Gail and Maria that pushed me over the edge.

I was sitting on the plane yesterday and just thinking about the last 10 days. It’s been a little crazy and it’s left me rather tired and emotional. But what I could not stop thinking about was my crazy, fun, amazing friends that I’d caught up with and how goddamn lucky I am. They are from all walks of life, some I’ve known for decades while others only a few months, and in this tale we cover three cities.

This tale begins last weekend in BrisVegas…

Now this may be the oddest name to ever appear on this blog. I call her Work Smarter Not Harder cause WSNH first gave me this advice in ’99. It is genius, and the best advice I’ve ever had in my life. Now WSNH is not only a communications genius but also hysterically funny! She ‘hates the gays’ but always manages to surround herself with them, and after last weekend she is royalty at The Beat. I think for 99% of our friendship we’ve lived in different cities, which makes it so much more special and fun when we do get to play together. I love WSNH cause not only is she a bogan like me but also an absolute dream to have as a friend. It's like we were separated at birth. And a bonus, she introduced me too…

You know sometimes when you meet someone and everything just clicks. This happened to me last year when I met Sleemol. It was like we’d been besties for years and over the past few months we’ve proven we are no one-hit wonder. I adore him! Same warped sense of humour, same love of social media, same love of being fabulously gay. Sleemol is actually too smart for his own good. He will one day be changing the world in some way and I’m so tagging along for the ride. Brisbane is nothing without Sleemol. He also loves some Young Talent Time dancing at Brisbane’s finest gay establishments.

Man Pit played host to North Shore Princess on Tuesday, Sammy invited her over. NSP and I have one of those beautiful friendships where it doesn’t matter if it is days or years since we’ve seen each other, we pick it right back up where we left off. There is something incredibly genuine about our friendship, hard for me to describe. I think it comes from being by each others sides when life for both of us was changing dramaticly. NSP held my hand as I came bounding out of the closet and she even leant me her clothes.

Now Miss Cal is my Plus One, in life and on Wednesday. We have highs and lows like any old, married couple and we can both be stubborn mules when we want to be. She has been my best friend since we moved into a Uni dorm together in ’93. I can tell Miss Cal anything, she knows me as well as anyone, and the reverse. We have a warts-&-all friendship that will see us together in a retirement home for glamorous PR types attended by gorgeous houseboys. On Wednesday we played with Jennifer Hudson, Miss Cal rubbed my back when she was standing behind me cause she knew I would be in tears.

Where the hell did Mrs Woog come from??? Until a few months ago I hadn’t seen her since ’95. Then out of the blue – WHAMMO – Mrs Woog is everywhere in my life. And I couldn’t be happier! She is my friend, my guidance counsellor, my mentor, my drinking buddy, she can fill any role asked of her. She is both the most normal person in the world and also the most outrageous. She is who she is, take it or leave it. Like the thousands of people who adoringly read her blog I’ll take it any day of the week. This week it was both Wednesday and Saturday – both involving vodka!

I don’t even know where to start with Miss Melbourne and Lady Marmalade. They are both so stylish, sassy, hilarious and successful that they are almost impossible to describe. And so, so Melbourne! They know that city like the back of their hand, well at least all the restaurants and bars. Dining with them, like I did on Friday night, is always pure joy, if not a little scary – they have exacting standards. What I love and respect most about Miss M and Lady M is that they have carved out the most amazing lives for themselves, are so independent and together, all while laughing at the world and wearing gorgeous jewellery.

Don’t even get me started on my workmates. They are creative geniuses and some of the most intelligent, funny people you will ever meet. I’m very lucky to work alongside them. Work is not work when you work with workmates like mine. Fact.

Ok, now I’m gonna take my sentimentality to a whole new level. My first real love and serious relationship was with The Sculptor. This was like 10 years ago. He is a very special man. We have both changed a lot since we were together, especially The Sculptor. He’s changed and grown in so many ways, and fuck it’s impressive. He’s turned his love and talent in art into a career and I have so much respect for that. He was just starting out when we were together. On Friday night we were two single men cruising Melbourne’s gay bars together. The Sculptor showed me his world and I loved it! Who said you can never be friends with your ex?

I just need to squeeze in here a little something about the most ridiculously loving couple I know – SimieBoy and Milney01. While I didn’t get to catch up with them in Melbourne, a phone call completely inspired me. Whatever they do in life they will be successfull because they are so motivated, so clever, have such a brilliant attitude to life and they have each other. Grab the bull by the horns boys, and I’d love to come along for the ride (and I don’t mean on a podium!).

JoThornely. She is a statement. She does not require a full sentence. The irony is her true brilliance lies in the creation of sentences. She is one of the funniest, cleverest writers you will ever read. Off the page, she is a work-buddy who has become so much more this past year. We have, certainly more through good luck than good management, merged many of our friendships. Now it’s just plain confusing. The best part is that through each other, and our online activities, our circle of friends has grown and we all came together for her 40^th last night. If only she wasn’t a gay man trapped in a woman’s body, instead just a gay man. Wingman.

Now this is not a role-call of my friends, just a little mental recap of the past 10 days. What I take from all of this is that I am so incredibly lucky to have so many amazing people in my life. I love all my friends dearly. I know I can be the most selfish man in the world and no one is more easily distracted, so my friends put up with a lot. I remember writing when I first started this blog that one of my motivations was to document the crazy antics of my gang and show how much I love them. This was a chance to do that.

I love my friends. Even more than Oprah loves Gail.

{Home} Rustic Inspiration

Dream Catcher Earrings...........................

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Dream Catcher Bracelet

{Streetstyle} Park Avenue Princess

I can't blog today. Two reasons...

I can't blog today.





I am too emotional.





I am overcome with such a sense of loss I can barely function.





I haven't felt this sad since Susie O'Neill retired from swimming. Or since Will & Grace was cancelled.





Its an absolute double whammy today, a big back-handed slap across the face. First the most devastating news. One of the all-time hottest cops called it a day. My Christopher Meloni announced that he was leaving my beloved Law & Order SVU after 12 glorious seasons. I can not go on... I am too upset. RIP DET. ELLIOT STABLER!

Det. Stabler

And of course, it goes without saying, that today being the final episode ever of Oprah leaves me with a heavy heart. I've watched the last two nights and I've teared up about 3 times each ep - even with that giant layer of cheese. Over the years I have loved Oprah, watched with great regularity (I do have a tv on my desk at work...!). There is now a big whole in my viewing schedule...





Love you Oprah, miss you already!!!

Bye Bye

And just because I can... Here is a nudie shot of Christopher Meloni to put a brief smile on your face on an otherwise sad, sad day.

{Beauty} Freckles

JENNIFER HUDSON!

I have been in the presence of greatness! JENNIFER HUDSON!!!

After last night I worship at the altar of Ms Hudson! I believe her to be the voice of her generation, there is no equal. Fact!

So in one of those random events that life dishes out, I scored an invite to a Jennifer Hudson ‘Up Close & Personal’ thrown by the lovely people at MIX 106.5. One of the cheekier, sassier, smoother, more adorable radio promo types is @ShaunHeron who shot me through the invite. Hesitated for a minute, but then thought why the hell not – for godsake she won an Oscar – so invited along my No. 1  Miss Cal.

Well. I can confidently say that it was one of the most amazing performances I’ve ever seen. Jennifer Hudson is a SUPERSTAR with the most phenomenal voice! Such composure, so genuine, unbelievably effortless! 





Not one to blow some smoke up my own arse… but I’ve been very lucky over the years and have met, seen, heard some of the greatest voices and performers. On top of that, I am a bitter and twisted middle-aged queen who thinks he’s seen and done it all before.

That is… Until I was five people back at a JENNIFER HUDSON showcase!

I seriously can not describe how sensational her performance was last night. At one stage I was literally doubled over with my whole body tensed in anticipation, goosebumps even on my calf muscles, tears welling in my eyes. I couldn’t even scream with joy I was literally so speechless. I couldn’t tell you what songs she sang or even how many, just that with each song she took her performance to a whole new level.

I worked on Australian Idol, and I was in the room for the original audition, semi-final (Barbra Streisand) and performances (most notably ‘Chains’) for the one-and-only Paulini. To my ear I have always considered Paulini one of the most pure, effortless voices I have ever heard in my life. In a bizarre coincidence I’d bumped into Paulini last night just before JH took the stage. She was beside herself with excitement. Singers know and love other singers, this I have learnt over the years. When I was about to collapse in pure rapture over JH, Paulini was a few steps in front of me waving her arms with absolute joy. I know what I love, Paulini loves it cause she understands the skill and talent involved.

Mrs Woog and Paulini

Yes, yes I know I am now gushing like a 12 year old after a Bieber concert but I am not alone. Miss Cal grabbed me half way through a JH song and yelled “AMARSING” while she patted my back instinctually knowing I was already in tears.  Having been invited as well, Mrs Woog and her +1 Mrs Ryan were in tears like myself. Seriously, our new bestie Jennifer was AMARSING!

BUY HER ALBUM, BUY HER ALBUM! 

Ahhhh… Jennifer… Thank you!

And just to finish off, and just because I love the photo, Mrs Woog and Mrs Ryan ended up back at Man Pit on the couch with me and Sam to watch the IQ’d final Oprah ep. But more about that another time…