Inspired, pumped and Smudgerella - last postcard from London.

I have just had the most phenomenal work conference!

You know I don’t talk about work here at St. Murphy, but just need to share this.

I work with some incredibly cool, inspiring people – I love them! It’s all the people from around the world who have the same job as me. Yes, there are other people just like me!! Granted they dress better and are far more eloquent, but in essence we all do the same thing. Its so re-assuring and brilliant fun to compare stories and battle-wounds. I’m feeling incredibly lucky to be a part of such an organization and this group. Ahhhhh… It’s a Kumbaya moment.

We had a team dinner last night which was so much fun, absolutely hysterical. A room full of Communications people with alcohol is always going to be loud. But this was stadium-like. Our place tags were these fantastic caricatures of each of us. Mine is brilliant! It will now feature everywhere. Coolest thing ever.

It feels like this has been the longest week in the world – straddling two completely opposite time zones and not doing either one of them justice. All week I’ve been so confused about what day it is and what time it is. My laptop says one thing, watch another and my phone jumps between the two. I just know I’ve missed shit on both sides of the globe. Got a lot of making up to do next week. Mmmmm…. That’s something to look forward to. Good news is I’m coming home completely inspired and pumped! Everyone is going to find me very annoying.

I’m a couple of days late but I caught up with one of my oldest friends the other night, one of my nearest and dearest, Smudgerella! She is gorgeous and the best life-coach EVER! It was beautiful to see her and share a cocktail. Smudge and I were original housemates at ‘432’ over a decade ago. She is world famous for one morning asking everyone “Do you ever wake up and just feel like a vodka?” She was deadly serious. Now she is a very respectable mum of beautiful Zachy. We shared a number of gorgeous martini’s. Good times. Love you Smudge, thank you honey. 

Sorry that this post is a little poor on content. I am so tired and exhausted and completely mentally drained. Travelling home now. I really love London, I'm going to miss it.

Love ya, xoxoxo

St. Murphy

A London quickie today...

A very quick one today… conference, conference, dinner, conference. I'm a busy gal on the go, I'm the Aussie version of a gay Carrie Bradshaw in London.

The first thing I have to share is the most PHENOMENAL Will & Kate wedding souvenir that you could possible imagine. The beautiful StylingYou bought it to my attention. Will and Kate acrylic nails. I am so getting some before I come home. Can you imagine turning up for a meeting with me and I’ve got these on? Or paying for my groceries at check-out? Hysterical.

I’ve now mastered dressing for the sub-arctic temperatures over here. Its substance over style. So the first two layers are about presentation cause that’s what you have on once in the office. The third layer is about warmth so I’ve got some ratty old cardigans for that. Fourth layer is the jacket. Got to have layers 3 and 4 to go outside or you risk hyperthermia. Never been so cold in my life and its allegedly spring. No wonder I hate snow.

The new Marks and Spencer undies are truly beautiful. Going back today to get some more. Except this time I may buy bigger than a Small. What the hell was I thinking??? I haven’t been a Small since I was 12 (and that’s not bragging, that’s because of my waist). So they are a little on the tight side. Talk about an overshare on the undies story….

I often joke about how anal I am about real dumb things. One of those things is unpacking in a hotel room. I completely unpack as soon as I walk in even if its just one night. Just to prove it, check out how I keep bathroom shelf and wardrobe in a hotel room I’m only in for a few nights…

Lucky I’m only here for 2 more days cause now that I have the latest issue of Time Out I coulda got myself into some real trouble… I LOVE THIS PLACE!!! LOVE IT!!!!

London ramblings, it gets even weirder! + Undie Crisis of 2011

More ramblings from London, don’t say I didn’t warn you…

And typing at a frantic speed cause I’m very busy and important in London.

Let me kick start with the Good News I have on solving two of my biggest problems since I’ve been here – coffee and undies.

Lets start with the Undies Crisis of 2011 and the complete lack of common sense among British Men. I desperately need more undies but it is boxers and trunks only in the UK. Mountains of them. But nothing, absolutely nothing, in a brief. Check out this rack at UniQlo and all trunks… How is the modern man to feel sexy in a grey flannel trunk???

BORING!!!!

Tried all the cool-kids stores today and so disappointing. You can get a brief but only with a cartoon character on your doodle. And as a man of a certain age this is incredibly inappropriate and sure to be laughed at in the Fitness First changerooms.

In a last ditch attempt before I have to recycle I went to Marks & Spencer. Not only did they have a wide selection of (distinctly un-designer) briefs but they were also ON SALE! K-ching, K-ching –put that one in the savings register. Two pair of undies for 9pound and 3 pairs of socks for 3pound. Couldn’t be happier. Bar-jain! I’d model them for you but decency prevails.

My purchases.

If you read yesterdays post you will know that I firmly believe the coffee situation in London is dire. I still haven’t made it to everyone’s hot tip of Flat White in Soho, hopefully before I head home. But I did discover a passable drop at this little hole in the wall near Head Office. And served by some delightful Turkish ladies, an all-round very pleasant start to the day. Its still no Oven in St Leonards but it will suffice for the next 3 days.

Now for some schizo ramblings…

At the noodle bar where I bought lunch they had Deep Fried Carrot Cake on the menu. Even for me, who as a general rule eats anything fried, I couldn’t bring myself to try it. Surely cake is not meant to be crispy around the edges or moist with oil.

They still have Pizza Hut restaurants here that are dine-in with all-you-can-eat salad bars! God I loved the early 90’s. Back when I never had to think about my weight and could eat till I vomited at a Pizza Hut restaurant.

Thank god for Diet Coke. No explanation required.

Last night I strangely found myself watching both Neighbours and Home & Away. Now of course I am a very regular viewer of Australia’s most successful drama ever, Neighbours, but never in my life do I think I’ve watched both on the same night. Do you think after just 4 days I’m homesick?

Last night, in a moment of terrible weakness, I Tweeted my absolute new favourite and soon-to-be boyfriend Matt Johnson from Channel 5 that I love and adore him. He hasn’t replied. Go figure. Mustn't like Aussies.

Love you Matty-watty!

Finally, the search continues for Will and Kate but with no luck at all. They are proving very elusive. No closer to getting my hands on my wedding invitation that the Palace forgot to send.

I went to some ridiculously cool and fabulous hotel bar for a drink with some gorgeous TV Types thinking W&K would surely be there too. I don’t think they were, problem was it was so dimly lit I could hardly read the cocktail menu let alone see who was at the next table. By contrast the foyer was all flouro lighting and full of child-like wannabe models. I fled after only two apple martini’s.

Tired of pushing through the heaving crowds (this is not really Spring people!) on the way home I took refuge in a gay karaoke bar. Oh dear. Place proved not all gay men have style. Never again. Insanely bad singing and no W&K.

They are never in Boots and I check at least twice a day. That store is amazing for the width and breadth of their products. I love a quick remedy for anything and will pop a pill at a moments notice so the flaky UK medical standards are perfect fit for me. No grilling by the parmacist here when you want a stack of codeine. Will and Kate obvisouly don’t feel the same way.

Ground Floor of Boots Heaven

So that’s it, over and out for another day in London-town. Ten-4 Big Daddy, Keep on Truckin’. St. Murphy needs to have a drink for St Patrick’s Day.

Speaking of St Patricks Day… Happy Birthday Dad! Love you, miss you. Of course I’ll have a drink for you too.

There's some weird shit going on in London...

Talk about the ramblings of a mad man! Here we go…

I’ve been walking around London for a few days now and there are some things that I’m finding really weird and I just need to get them off my chest.

I’d never been here in my life but this is my 4^th time in two years so now I’m practically an expert. And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love it, would live her in a heartbeat, but I just need to vent.

So some random statements, in no particular order….

How can you not be instantly drawn to a place called SuperDrugs! It holds so much promise. Alas, its just a chemist.

No pre-requisite to be attractive to host a show on TV here. A policy that is obviously applied by all channels. Take Vanessa Feltz from The Vanessa Show for example. In Sydney she’d be leading Mardi Gras not hosting a daytime chat show.

Vanessa Feltz

And there are SO MANY chat shows. So much chat goes on here. Chat, chat, chat. Morning, noon and night. Too much chat ladies, too much chat! And I am 100% sure they all use the same set.

They are obsessed with antiques, renovations and real estate. If its not a chat show it’s a “how to buy and sell antiques for your renovated home while searching for your next investment property that you’re gonna renovate and flip” program. Granted, I don’t have the Sky channels at the hotel but the choice on TV is leaving me heartbroken.





They sell cigerettes in these gorgeous little sexy 10-packs. Perfect for non-smokers like myself.

Stupidly I have packed very little underwear. Now I prefer a brief, and the briefer the better. It seems that British Men do not believe in them cause NO ONE sells them. Can not find them anywhere. Makes me feel like a dirty old perv for wanting brief undies. Trunks only here. Thank god I’ve stopped wearing G-strings. I’m going to have to recycle.

They drive on the left hand side of the road but when you are on an escalator you have to stand on the right. Makes no sense.

Its arctic cold, I’m freezing to death. But today I saw far too many people wearing nothing but a t’shirt. I had FOUR layers on. Felt like yelling at them “Just because its Spring doesn’t mean its warm!” – I think they have mind-powers here that convince the body anything over 10 degrees is balmy.

All the cute boys are anorexic. Everyone who ‘catches my eye’ is wearing ridiculously stylish multi-layers on their bone thin body. The Sydney equivalent goes to the gym 5 times a week and is as buff as hell. Or my other fancy here is a Russian. I think this goes back to my burgeoning sexuality watching the Russian gymnasts during the 1980 Olympics.

Not best example but you get the point....

You can not buy a decent coffee anywhere. Even brands I know here are shit. My scientific brain now thinks it’s the milk that is ruining it for me. But got the hot tip from a few people today on Flat White in Soho. Will be checking that one for sure.

I’ve seen one KFC in 3 days! And you call yourself CIVILISED!!!

The supermarkets are perfect for Bachelors and Bachelorettes. They sell everything in perfectly sized meals-for-one! I absolutely love it. Nothing you can’t get to stick in the microwave for a full gourmet dinner for one. Why don’t we have supermarkets like this in OZ? There is money to be made.

Love you Sainsbury's

And I’m gonna end on my absolute favourite thing I’ve discovered in the last 3 days. The hottest musical act in the UK at the moment is The Four Nurses. And guess what, they are four nurses!!! I kid you not! They have an album out called Guiding You and its full of songs to heal to. GOLD!!!!  They are raising money for cancer charities so I shouldn’t joke – but how can you not??? There current single is I’ll Stand By You.

Along with your Will & Kate ashtray, all St. Murphy readers will be getting The Four Nurses in their Xmas stocking.

Over and out.

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!!!!! I've just made the British Discovery of the Year! (due to the time difference)





Please meet the host of Five's OK! TV - Matt Johnson. I LOVE AND ADORE HIM!