Last minute holiday and man-kini panic...

I’m in the throws of a last-minute holiday panic! While holidays are the most brilliant, amazing thing in the world – especially resort holidays! – I always find that there is a shitload of stuff to do in the final days so that you are holiday ready. And man-kini ready!

Resort 1

First of all there’s the longer-term prep. I’m just days away from 2 weeks of sunning myself poolside with a cocktail in hand on the islands of Thailand (I know, tough life!) so for a resort holiday like this I need atleast 3 downloaded TV series and 4 books. Finally my books arrived today and I’m just getting a start on iTunes. But how dumb is this, I bought the York crib notes of The Great Gatsby rather than the actual book. Guess it makes for easier reading.

Next up is the man-scaping. To be exposing your body in the briefest of Speedo’s like I’m about to requires significant self-maintenance. Yes, I’m gay. I really should have concentrated on weight-loss some months ago but I got distracted. Nothing I can do about my gut-overhang now. Instead I’m going to disguise it with a full-body clipper for easier tanning and a touch-up eyebrow wax.

Which reminds me… need to pack nail clippers.

Now I can be incredibly anal and I like to know where, when and how I am doing everything before I head off. Staying at 3 different resorts so bookmarked all their websites today for a thorough examination. My beautiful friend Miss Melbourne, who I am holidaying with, has expertly booked the whole trip. No one knows how to resort-holiday better than Miss M. So I have some catching up to do with insider knowledge.

Resort 2

I like to prioritise hotel restaurants and also beauty treatments at their day spas. I consider this critical. I’m not one for wasting time reading hotel room info packages when it can all be done beforehand. I also like to know something about the local nightlife cause you never know when a beautiful dinner followed by a Duty Free nightcap can turn into a night of disco-dancing. And it goes without saying I like to know when the gays hang.

Always my last minute panic will include the boring and mundane household shit. So much washing, cleaning and setting of the IQ. I have enough trouble taking care of Man Pit and Little Sammy when I’m here let alone when I’m not. Good thing I have Little Sammy’s step-dad on stand-by, he will take my little man. Bills are paid and up-to-date, and I’ve cancelled PT. Just have to remember to deoderise the carpet as I exit Man Pit so it doesn’t smell like a kennel when I get back.

Last, last, lucky last thing I do before a holiday is go shopping. Usually at one of my favourite stores in the world – PRICELINE! You need your sunscreen, your giant pack of Nurofen Plus, spare ventolin, Zantac, Nicobate Lozenges, deodorant, blah blah blah. This is a full shopping basket skip around Priceline. Nothing worse than being stuck in a foreign country and not having enough mouthwash.

Anyone feeling sorry for Miss M?

Luckily she knows me oh so well after many, many years of friendship. She is Inner Circle. Strangely we’ve never travelled together before but we know it is going to be the easiest thing in the world. Our benchmark is ‘hung-over days’ and we do them brilliantly together. So in-tune. We famously move the mattress from the bed to in front of the tv and always stock up on supplies the day before so we don’t have to move. We are going to travel BRILLIANTLY together.

Resort 3

So I will be telling many tales about Miss M over the coming weeks. I’ve decided, for no particular reason, to changer her name. A bit like Prince does. Miss M will now be known as Lady M, like an upgrade. Maybe one day she will become known as ‘artist formerly know as Miss M’ but from today she is Lady M.

I promise our adventures in Thailand will entertain. 

All this 'work' is so gonna be worth it even for just 5 mins poolside. It's been a looooooong year!

10,000 Tweets! But what has it got me?

I’ll tell you EXACTLY what it has got me!

SimieBoy and St. Murphy

Some of the most fantastic new friends that a dirty middle-aged poof could ask for.

And a Tweet from the Premier! I kid you not. Last night I got a very eloquent but full of sexual innuendo Tweet from Barry O’Farrell after my 10,000^th… “congrats!” he said to me, simply “congrats!”. He recognises my 10’000^th tweet but not the equality of my relationships. But now’s not the day to bang on about that. Today I’m just happy for the Tweet.

So what was my 10,000^th tweet I hear you beg, after much thought and many drafts it was this…

“10000th: Have met the coolest, funniest, most gorgeous people on Twitter, & now they're my dear friends! Will be forever grateful to Twitter”

If you had said to me 12 months ago that I would be meeting people over the internet I would have laughed in your face. I’m a nanna at heart, can be strangely conservative and I’ve been too lazy to make new friends the last few years. And besides, I loved my friends to death and didn’t feel I needed anymore.

Damn I was wrong being lazy. And narrow-minded! Another one of my judgemental characteristics I am ridding myself of.

Yesterday was a very opportune time to hit the milestone of 10,000 tweets as it comes after a weekend where I spent all my time socializing with people I’d met on Twitter. And it was a weekend chockers full of booze and crazy laughs, all with my Tweeps.

ShaunHeron, Arrjaydub, McCraigyDimples, St. Murphy, MatthewJFraser, Lucky Paulie, Mikey & Josh10Murphy

There’s a reason we all look like we are possessed by the Devil…

Lets talk about Friday night. Lucky Paulie (long-time Inner Circle) and I decided to organise a Power Gay gathering on Twitter – a mix of old friends, people we’d recently met and people we wanted to meet. All up, there was a lot of meeting for the first time going on. We quickly changed our moniker from the Power Gays to the Gay-stapo – I think because we were so militant in our homosexuality. The Gay-stapo took over the Inner West.

We even hashtagged it in true Twitter style, #Impie0107. Within 5 mins we were telling dirty stories (or maybe that was just ShaunHeron and I?) and within an hour we were being debaucherous (or maybe that was just ShaunHeron and I?). Arrjaydub, McCraigyDimples and Uueaver are three retiring wall-flowers who shyly join a party… and I’m Pinocchio!

Lucky Paulie, McCraigyDimples and Arrjaydub

MatthewJFraser, or as I like to call him The HYS-terical Matt Fraser, is the best thing to come out of Newcastle since coal. Josh10Murphy is not one to let a brain tumour stand in the way of a good time, and that is with not an ounce of exaggeration. Mikey Morrow was allowed to play with us even though he’s not on Twitter, we talked slower for him. We had an absolute ball! Next outing is #Impie1507 or #Impie1607, still to decide. All are more than welcome to join us.

Lucky Paulie and Arrjaydub

Then I squeezed three costume changes into an over-nighter for a few days in Melbs. It was a work trip but managed to schedule some Twitter-vodka’s cause I’m nothing if not professional. My first ever Twitter-date was with Melbourne’s hottest gay-royalty couple from the ‘burbs, SimieBoy and Milney01. Milney01 ditched me for his offspring – go figure! - while SimieBoy ‘forced’ me to go to The Greyhound for some disco-dancing. I wore black cause I was in Melbourne.

The Greyhound

It was with great pleasure, and some pain, that I met 3GreggyD for the first time. Classic example of when you find someone with the same warped sense of humour on Twitter it translates beautifully to real-life. I loved him like you do the straw in your first vodka, lime and soda. We all met for brunch the next day and the divine Milney01 joined us, but the absolute highlight was the Parisian French toast served with a delicious side of LoveMissLee. LoveMissLee is adored in Melbs like Barbra, Bette or Kylie. I fell under her spell too.

Goddamn I love Twitter and the people it has brought into my life!

And there is no way I can write a commemorative 10,000^th Tweet post without mention of the four legs of my Twitter table… The sublime Woogsworld, the beautiful StylingYou (Twitter-Date No. 2), the fit-inducing JoThornely and the Junior St. Murphy, En_Gy (Twitter-Date No. 3). Life without the allegedly-witty banter of you guys would be like life without television – POINTLESS!!! I also have a big old Twitter-crush on LaurenMC and JoshCilento, a big old crush (and just a little gay one on CuriousSpecimen).

Woogsworld & JoThornely

En_Gy

StylingYou & moi

JoshCilento & LaurenMC

St. Murphy & CuriousSpecimen

Ahhhh.... Twitter is a beautiful place.

And you know what, now that I’ve hit 10,000 I am aching, yearning to hit 100,000.

Game on Twitter!

***If you wanted to follow me I'm at StMurphy!

I love you purple nail polish! I love you Belvedere!

This story begins and ends with Belvedere Vodka. Why, because it’s the best. Fact!

I don’t know if I’ve shared this before but I love getting my nails done. It’s a real treat. It’s a special occasion thing that I like to do and always with a splash of colour. For events such as birthdays, Xmas parties, etc, I always have a manicure and theme the colour with my outfit. Is that the gayest thing you’ve ever heard? I hope so.

I have the divine Miss Melbourne staying at Man Pit this weekend and whenever she’s in town we pop ourselves off for mani/pedi’s cause that’s how the glamour-set role. We normally go to Lily’s but again today they couldn’t fit us in – and to think we made that place! – so instead we hit Deluxe Nails on Crown. Their chairs aren’t as comfy but they do have a quality OPI selection. And they do a decent nail.

This time I’ve decided on a vibrant purple as it’s my current ‘it’ colour. And I’d already planned my Saturday night wardrobe around it. Miss M has taught me that we only do OPI polish, it’s the best, and my shade of purple is called Can You Dig It?.  Oh yes I can, its heaven.

I did feel sorry for the poor woman when she whipped out the scraper-thing that cleans under your nails. Had a brief moment when I was shit scared what she’d find or what smell she’d trigger but no need for concern, my hygiene appears to be better than I’d suspected. The best part about a manicure is the hand massage. At Lily’s they go right up your arm but today I only got a token finger pull. Lucky I didn’t fart.

Now this is a very polished polish application! You can see my eagerness from fingertip to wrist. Purple is a truly brilliant colour and I swear it brings out the chocolate brown of my eyes. I’m practically a supermodel in purple nail polish. Such a shame it’s not more socially and professionally accepted for men to wear nail polish, such a shame. If it was I’d have a different colour every week. Instead I’ll be off to Coles for some nail polish remover later today so that I am back to my corporatish yuppie-wannabe self by Monday 9am to re-enter the work environment.

Miss Melbourne is very happy with her shellacking. And no it’s not the shellacking your dirty mind is thinking. It’s a new polish technique that lasts longer. Miss M has gone with a dramatic dark deep greyish colour. I’m calling it Midnight On A Winters Eclipse for the sake of this blog. Now I don’t want to alarm you but my purple obsession is getting a little ridiculous. Not long ago I found myself on a plane with purple shoes, purple watch and purple T’shirt. Look at my combination yesterday after Deluxe had worked there magic…

To celebrate our new nail colour we bought some of our favourite vodka, Belvedere, to toast our glamorousness! We are quite the vodka connoisseurs Miss M and I and there is no question that Belvedere is our best friend. Yes it may coast a little extra but the smoothness is so worth it. To say nothing of the fact it DOES NOT GIVE YOU A HANGOVER! That’s how smooth my dear Belvedere is. Worth every cent! Plus, we we're having people over last night and I wanted them to think I'm posh.

Nothing makes me happier than sipping Belvedere on the balcony of Man pit with its gorgeous city views and admiring my beautiful purple nail polish with Miss Melbourne beside me. Gay much?

I love you purple nail polish!

I love you Belvedere!

I've had me some Rogan Joshua at Man Pit!

What the hell is this???

Lucky Paulie said he was coming over to Man Pit to cook me dinner and he brought this! Now even I know you can’t put plastic in the oven. “Lucky Paulie what the hell were you thinking…” as I reached for my phone to dial the downstairs pizza place.

Turns out these are the ingredients in a Rogan Joshua. I thought Rogan Joshua just came in a bain marie at a cheap and easy Indian diner – Lucky Paulie assures you mix all of these in a pot and out comes some Joshua. Go figure!

You may know, I hate cooking. Hate it in the same way you hate planter warts. Since being at Man Pit and setting off the fire alarm in the first week I have relied solely on the generosity of friends, oven food and the pizza place downstairs. This is what has spurred Lucky Paulie into action – he saw my Sunday night Tweet of 5 empty pizza boxes. Now he wants to teach me to cook. He’s one of my oldest friends but I fear he may not know me at all.

“What do you know how to do?” Paulie asks. “Chop.” And that is literally all I know in the kitchen. I am subsequently in charge of onions. Paulie attends to the more delicate tasks of garlic and ginger.

Paulie asks “Do you have a garlic crusher?”

“No, why would I have one of those?

“Do you have a grater?”

“No. Again I ask, why would I need one of those?”

Seriously only the MasterChef Kitchen would have these surely? Why would an inner-city bachelor pad rented by someone who’s favourite chef is Colonel Sanders have them? I passed Paulie my only big knife and he improvised. He’s very clever Paulie, not just a pretty face who puts the news to air each night. Check it out – I think we did pretty darn good considering the ‘alleged’ limited resources of Man Pit.

Paulie looked very dashing in the Man Pit kitchen. He was throwing ingredients around like he was the Swedish chef on the Muppets. I was so confused as to what was what that I had to pour myself another vodka and check out Twitter. I was supporting him emotionally and spiritually. I did warn Paulie that I was considerably less interested in learning as he was in teaching.

Check out Little Sammy watching on... ADORABLE!

Man Pit hasn’t smelt this good since the first time I walked in the door just after the industrial cleaners had left. Little Sammy was beside himself, the smell of slow-cooked fresh food is completely foreign to him. Paulie didn’t even let me boil the rice. Told you he was clever! My contribution at this point was to set the timer on my iPhone so we knew when rice was ready. BINGO! Dinner is served!

You can see the joy on my face (and the jealousy on Sam's!).

And if you can look past the beautiful Rogan Joshua, yes I am wearing a headband, as I often do once I slip into my After-5’s at Man Pit.

Thank you Lucky Paulie for giving it your very best attempt to teach me a new skill. Thank you Lucky Paulie for recognizing that I possibly wasn’t eating a very balanced diet. But most of all thank you Lucky Paulie for serving up a Rogan Joshua that tasted even better than any take-away Indian Diner on Oxford St.

Love you!

Lucky Paulie

My Friends.

I’m blaming Oprah, but today I am absolutely full of love. She’s definitely made me all sentimental and mushy. I think it was seeing Oprah with Gail and Maria that pushed me over the edge.

I was sitting on the plane yesterday and just thinking about the last 10 days. It’s been a little crazy and it’s left me rather tired and emotional. But what I could not stop thinking about was my crazy, fun, amazing friends that I’d caught up with and how goddamn lucky I am. They are from all walks of life, some I’ve known for decades while others only a few months, and in this tale we cover three cities.

This tale begins last weekend in BrisVegas…

Now this may be the oddest name to ever appear on this blog. I call her Work Smarter Not Harder cause WSNH first gave me this advice in ’99. It is genius, and the best advice I’ve ever had in my life. Now WSNH is not only a communications genius but also hysterically funny! She ‘hates the gays’ but always manages to surround herself with them, and after last weekend she is royalty at The Beat. I think for 99% of our friendship we’ve lived in different cities, which makes it so much more special and fun when we do get to play together. I love WSNH cause not only is she a bogan like me but also an absolute dream to have as a friend. It's like we were separated at birth. And a bonus, she introduced me too…

You know sometimes when you meet someone and everything just clicks. This happened to me last year when I met Sleemol. It was like we’d been besties for years and over the past few months we’ve proven we are no one-hit wonder. I adore him! Same warped sense of humour, same love of social media, same love of being fabulously gay. Sleemol is actually too smart for his own good. He will one day be changing the world in some way and I’m so tagging along for the ride. Brisbane is nothing without Sleemol. He also loves some Young Talent Time dancing at Brisbane’s finest gay establishments.

Man Pit played host to North Shore Princess on Tuesday, Sammy invited her over. NSP and I have one of those beautiful friendships where it doesn’t matter if it is days or years since we’ve seen each other, we pick it right back up where we left off. There is something incredibly genuine about our friendship, hard for me to describe. I think it comes from being by each others sides when life for both of us was changing dramaticly. NSP held my hand as I came bounding out of the closet and she even leant me her clothes.

Now Miss Cal is my Plus One, in life and on Wednesday. We have highs and lows like any old, married couple and we can both be stubborn mules when we want to be. She has been my best friend since we moved into a Uni dorm together in ’93. I can tell Miss Cal anything, she knows me as well as anyone, and the reverse. We have a warts-&-all friendship that will see us together in a retirement home for glamorous PR types attended by gorgeous houseboys. On Wednesday we played with Jennifer Hudson, Miss Cal rubbed my back when she was standing behind me cause she knew I would be in tears.

Where the hell did Mrs Woog come from??? Until a few months ago I hadn’t seen her since ’95. Then out of the blue – WHAMMO – Mrs Woog is everywhere in my life. And I couldn’t be happier! She is my friend, my guidance counsellor, my mentor, my drinking buddy, she can fill any role asked of her. She is both the most normal person in the world and also the most outrageous. She is who she is, take it or leave it. Like the thousands of people who adoringly read her blog I’ll take it any day of the week. This week it was both Wednesday and Saturday – both involving vodka!

I don’t even know where to start with Miss Melbourne and Lady Marmalade. They are both so stylish, sassy, hilarious and successful that they are almost impossible to describe. And so, so Melbourne! They know that city like the back of their hand, well at least all the restaurants and bars. Dining with them, like I did on Friday night, is always pure joy, if not a little scary – they have exacting standards. What I love and respect most about Miss M and Lady M is that they have carved out the most amazing lives for themselves, are so independent and together, all while laughing at the world and wearing gorgeous jewellery.

Don’t even get me started on my workmates. They are creative geniuses and some of the most intelligent, funny people you will ever meet. I’m very lucky to work alongside them. Work is not work when you work with workmates like mine. Fact.

Ok, now I’m gonna take my sentimentality to a whole new level. My first real love and serious relationship was with The Sculptor. This was like 10 years ago. He is a very special man. We have both changed a lot since we were together, especially The Sculptor. He’s changed and grown in so many ways, and fuck it’s impressive. He’s turned his love and talent in art into a career and I have so much respect for that. He was just starting out when we were together. On Friday night we were two single men cruising Melbourne’s gay bars together. The Sculptor showed me his world and I loved it! Who said you can never be friends with your ex?

I just need to squeeze in here a little something about the most ridiculously loving couple I know – SimieBoy and Milney01. While I didn’t get to catch up with them in Melbourne, a phone call completely inspired me. Whatever they do in life they will be successfull because they are so motivated, so clever, have such a brilliant attitude to life and they have each other. Grab the bull by the horns boys, and I’d love to come along for the ride (and I don’t mean on a podium!).

JoThornely. She is a statement. She does not require a full sentence. The irony is her true brilliance lies in the creation of sentences. She is one of the funniest, cleverest writers you will ever read. Off the page, she is a work-buddy who has become so much more this past year. We have, certainly more through good luck than good management, merged many of our friendships. Now it’s just plain confusing. The best part is that through each other, and our online activities, our circle of friends has grown and we all came together for her 40^th last night. If only she wasn’t a gay man trapped in a woman’s body, instead just a gay man. Wingman.

Now this is not a role-call of my friends, just a little mental recap of the past 10 days. What I take from all of this is that I am so incredibly lucky to have so many amazing people in my life. I love all my friends dearly. I know I can be the most selfish man in the world and no one is more easily distracted, so my friends put up with a lot. I remember writing when I first started this blog that one of my motivations was to document the crazy antics of my gang and show how much I love them. This was a chance to do that.

I love my friends. Even more than Oprah loves Gail.

Hi-FIVE!... Opera House, Planking, Ms G's, Mr MDJ & Bangkok

Just like some of my favourite things... the Spice Girls, the Olympic Rings, 5-star hotels, my right hand... I like things that come in 5's. Today I have 5 little tales from the past few days that will hopefully offer some explanation as to why there have been no posts here recently! Again I say, I am so easily distracted - most commonly by vodka, food and friends.

Tale 1. Jackson and Sam play Tourist.

Jackson is my son who I lost in the divorce, but with our joint custody arrangement (when one of us has to travel) I have my blonde bombshell staying with me for the week. On staurday I got to take Jackson and his step brother Little Sammy on their first trip to the Lady Macquarie’s Chair to see the Opera House and Harbour Bridge. They loved it!!! The sites were spectacular for their little eyes to see.

Sadly what I think they were most interested in though was being the Flower Girls for this gorgeous Japanese couple having their weeding photos.

Tale 2. Planking at The Imperial (and I ain't being dirty)!

Everyone knows I am an absolute victim of popular culture – if anyone else is doing something than I have to join in! Fact! So while out enjoying some fabulous gayness on Saturday night at the Inner West’s very best Impie, and after numerous vodka’s, we decided to do some planking – if KAK can than we sure as hell can as well. My partners in crime where people who should know better and certainly be more mature, Lucky Paulie and Newshound Brad, but somehow I was the only one foolish enough to try.

Of course I made it as easy for myself as possible, I have no core strength, so did it on the dance floor… Laying flat!

Not sure who that is treading on me...

Please note: No one was injured, and this ridiculousless was carried out before the ‘balcony incident’ in Qld. Lucky I only tried it on the floor. AND... I can 100% confirm that a man of a certain age should not go out disco dancing for 6 hours, I could hardly walk on Monday; back, neck and I think I pulled a hammie.

Tale 3. Miss Cal knows her food!

She most certainly does! We went on an exploration of my new neighbourhood on Sunday with the sole purpose of eating lunch. On Miss Cal’s recommendation we stumbled into Ms G’s on Victoria St, Miss Cal had read a great review. Its cute, its funky, it has an atrium with great afternoon sun. We just wanted to be warm so we were happy to wait for a table out the back. Can I just say, so worth the wait!!! The food was spectacular – I loved my wagyu beef in chilli broth with noodles. Miss Cal loved hers too but I can’t remember exactly what it was, too distracted by the wagyu in front of me. The only slight imperfection, as is often the case in the Eastern Suburbs, attiitude does not mean service. Out the back it was great, up the front not so flash. Can be overlooked… I recommend.

Atrium at Ms G's

Tale 4. Mr MDJ has a Birthday!

Thank god I have cool friends who know the cool places to go cause I have literally no idea! Mr MDJ is probably my oldest friend in Syd-er-ney after we met mid-90’s when he was a barman and I was a cocktail waitress at the very (non)glamorous Banana Bar at Taylor Square. When I write my memoirs about memorable nights out Mr MDJ will feature HEAVILY!!! His dear friend, the Cougar, organised a gorgeous birthday dinner at somewhere far too cool and gorgeous for me to even know about called Bar H. The food was AMARSING! The company even better. Jeez, they took good care of us, even when we started shouting and making jokes that I’m sure only we would find funny. Huge thank you to the Cougar for organising, and HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDY Mr MDJ.

Mr MDJ and the gorgeous Cougar

Tale 5. My Birthday ‘escape’ is locked and loaded!!!

For some reason this year I do not want to be in Sydney for my birthday. Normally I force everyone in a 75km radius to celebrate it with me, willingly or not. This year its my 39^th which is such a nothing birthday when you know you have the MASSIVE 40^th celebration next year (mark it in your diaries now people!). And I also I really like the idea of being ‘newly independent St. Murphy’ and going on holidays by myself for the first time in years. After much debate, much indecision and much advice I decided on a week in Bangkok cause it has everything! Only ever had 1 night there and I adored it. Time to go back…

SHOPPING! SHOPPING! SHOPPING!

As luck should have it, one of Mr MDJ’s nearest and dearest is also a very fabulous travel agent. Within the space of, and I swear I am not exaggerating, 2 hours she had the whole thing sorted and booked - all by email. I actually think she may be a genius! I’m calling her Julie McCoy (bonus points if you know why?). Beside myself now, so excited! Six days in Bangkok is just what a 39^th Birthday needs!

LeBua Hotel Sky Bar... where I'll start my evening cocktails!

Fabulous Winter Couch-Wear Fashion brought to you by St. Murphy

I am about to shock and astound you with some of the most brilliant Winter fashions you will ever see! Forget Vogue, St. Murphy is the new home of fashion!

Now regular readers will know how much I love winter and how much I love my couch. This fashion spread combines the two; Couch-wear Fashion! I have never been so excited to post on St. Murphy. Lets get started. First up is the soon-to-be world famous Icelandic knitting factory, Vík Prjónsdóttir. I was introduced to this amazing design house by the glamorous Hamish von Trapp, owner of leiderhosen, JPG man-skirt and a paisley velour suit; he sets all trends! This is their signature piece... The Shield Of Wings.

Shield of WIngs!

And more importantly, here is Hamish on Trapp modelling his very own Shield of Wings! Purchased for an extortionate amount of money from a Melbourne store. Absolutely perfect for winter nights on the couch - and flying through your lounge room!

Hamish von Trapp in full flight!

And don’t think the glamour stops there. Vík Prjónsdóttir have a phenomenal catalogue of products. Please enjoy some of my personal favourites, all classic winter couch-wear.

The Seal Pelt

The Twosome Blanket

The Gentlemen Bearded Cap

A gaggle of Beard Caps

Hamish von Trapp sharing his recent purchase was the catalyst for a search on other up and coming couch-wear designers. There are quite a few! My next personal favourite is the duvet suit from Lazy Patch – HEAVEN!!! Its designed so beautifully you could even leave the house in this baby when you run out of Diet Coke or chocolate.

As modelled by my radio-crush Wippa

Now many will be familiar with the classic Snuggie. The exciting news is they’ve introduced a designer range. I just love love love this designer camouflage Snuggie. It’s very butch couch-wear.

So unbelievably butch! I think this will be my choice.

You always learn so much from Hamish von Trapp. He has also predicted the Monkey Tail Beard will be a hit this winter. Me, I’m not so convinced. Not for me primarily because I am too lazy. If you have the time to master the shape than good luck to you. I’d love to see them on the street or on a shop assistant in Westfield Bondi Junction – that would make my year.

Monkey Tail Beard

And to wrap up my winter fashion spread, lets have Miss Call modeling the Shield of Wings while pulling off the female version of the Monkey Tail Beard.

Heaven! All to be seen in the pages of Vogue soon. Now I just need to decide what to buy for my couch-time...

Sunday Bloody Mary Sunday

I love a lazy Sunday. Saturday’s are good too, but I always feel like I should be doing something on a Saturday. Not a Sunday; no issues with being a lazy cow on a Sunday.

But yesterday was quite frantic on the scale of Sunday’s. I think I did about 4 things – AMAZING! No wonder I’m exhausted. But they were all good and the reason why I LOVE Sunday’s.

First off, its about sleeping. My bed is so unbelievably comfortable. I love it more than I love myself in it.

I love you bed.

Sundays are also about the phone calls home, Granted I speak with home 2-3 times a week but always on a Sunday, especially on Mother’s Day.

Took the kids for a long, long walk. Was going to show Jackson the Opera House for the first time but the Domain was being over-run by yummy-mummy's on some sort of charity walk so they only got as far as the Art Gallery.

Man Pit needed a spruce up so did some vacuuming. St. Murphy needed a spruce up so did some moisturizing.

Now if you want something real cool to do in Sydney than walk the length of Crown St, so cool And if you squint your eyes just slightly you'd think you were in New York.

Than it was VODKA TIME! And by vodka, I mean Bloody Mary time. Hamish von Trapp with is first Bloody Mary of the afternoon.

Yes, they serve them in tomato cans - GENIUS!!!!!!!!!

Beer Garden @ Norfolk!

Met the girls for drinking and fooding at the Norfolk. It’s cause we’re so inner-city. But seriously, I don't understand why anyone lives anywhere but Syd-a-ney! And speaking of food... God I love it when I don't have to cook it myself. And nothing better than a Schnitz on Sunday!

Food was good. But nothing compared to the company. My inner-circle is the best inner-circle a middle-aged & slightly overweight queen could ask for. So fucking funny!

Lucky Paulie, Miss Cal, Irish Mark and Hamish von Trapp

And because we all mildly enjoy each others company we had a few more of these...

Fresh lime only in that thanks!

But before you know it, the sun went down and the fairy lights came on!

Goddamn I love a Sunday! Best day of the week. Almost makes me regret all those weekends I spent Sunday in seedy Day Clubs. I loved you Manacle!





And then of course its Sunday night and you should never be anywhere but your couch on a Sunday night. In your 'after-5's' or as you may know them, your trackies...

Yep, me on the couch with my boys watching TV... Again!

Jeez I love a Sunday! best day of the week!